You’re Worth More Than The Lobster

I don’t know about you, but I love stand up comedy.

One of my favorite things in the whole entire world is laughing, and laughing really hard so it feels like your side is going to split. Laughing is good for your soul. My sisters and I will turn on a stand up special, sit back, and enjoy the humor.

Stand up is a gamble, however. There are the comedians who are witty and clean, like Jim Gaffigan, then there are the comedians that you would never turn on in front of your mother (I have learned this the hard way). Comedians always have at least a thousand people who are offended by what they have said.

My purpose is not to be one of those people bashing a comedian for something stupid they said, because lets be honest, we have all been somewhat offensive. It’s human nature, and it’s ultimately unavoidable. We can do our best, but there will always be someone offended.

Now that I have addressed that, let me begin.

A while ago, I watched one of the Iliza Shlesinger specials on Netflix. At the time, I loved it and died laughing at all of her jokes, not giving them a second thought. I finished the special, turned it off, and then forgot about it. It wasn’t until just recently where I realized what was wrong.

Iliza has this bit called “Beware of the Lobster”. She jokingly warns ladies about ordering the lobster while on a date with a boy, because if she does, then she is obligated to perform sexually for him. As she calls it, it is the “sexual contract of the sea”. Iliza then goes on to how you can mess with the guy, yet still fulfill your “obligation” as it is owed to him. I don’t think she really feels that this is okay, even while she’s doing the bit. She even addresses how “it’s the guy’s problem, they’ll be fine”.

Regardless of how Iliza Shlesinger feels about this, I started to think about how this is an actual thought process in the world today. Buy a girl an expensive dinner? You’re getting lucky. That’s how it goes. What has been failed to be realized, is how this ultimately communicates that a lobster is worth more than the value of a woman.

At what point did the pursuit become a process of sexual obligations? There was once a time where a man would ask to court a woman, and slowly, but surely, woo her. He’d invest into her, because she was worth it. If it didn’t work out, that was sad. But he’d get back up on the horse and try again.

The idea that anyone owes you their body in exchange for something as trivial as a crustacean is horrifically selfish. I genuinely hope I’m bursting someone’s bubble when I say that the price of a lobster does not equal the price of a sexual encounter. When I say these things, I mean much more than the simple “no means no”, though that is truth. When I say these things, I’m bringing to remembrance the importance of pure hearted investment.

A woman’s worth and value is measured far beyond rubies. I bet you could buy more than a couple lobsters with just one ruby. A man who finds a wife has found a good thing; and if a man is seeking to find a wife, he better be ready to invest much more than a twenty-five dollar entrée.

Ladies, you are worth more. You are worth the pursuit of a pure hearted gentleman, who buys you dinner not because of what you could do for him, but because he sees that you deserve that and more. He is investing into and pursuing you because he knows that you, dear daughter, are something good, something great. A good man will not bat an eyelash at investing into you if he desires to know you better.

This isn’t to say taking advantage of a man’s generosity is okay. If he is being honorable in his pursuit, what is expected of you is to return the favor and honor his investment. You are not obligated to do anything for him. However, being respectful, whether that’s in accepting or rejecting him, will speak volumes of your character and heart. Be clear in what you’re wanting, what your boundaries are, and where you are at within the relationship so he can gauge how much to invest.

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married, it’s the same concept. You are worth more than the lobster, and should not be expected to perform for a nice dinner and attention. You are worthy of pure investment, intentions, and value.




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