Everyone goes through it. At first, you hardly recognize it; reading a book, a scene from a movie, a song, or watching people on the street. It’s always small, but it tugs on the strings of your heart, makes you sigh and wonder, “When is it my turn?”
Love is beautiful, but I have not always seen it that way. I used to grumble on the 14th of February, roll my eyes at pictures of promise rings (okay, confession, I still do-sue me), and glare at couples sharing in a moment of good ole’ PDA. On the surface, I’d laugh and make fun, but underneath it all, was desperate yearning.
We’re created for connection. All of us. We’ve been created to share in relationship, not just in a romantic sense, but in friendship, in family. Love is a beautiful thing, it is multifaceted, and I can see that now. I love love. But sometimes, the idea of love can suck.
I’m talking about constantly wondering where Prince Charming (or Princess Perfect) is going to ride in from. How long are they going to take to get here? Who will they be? Is it the guy who comes to evening service with his buddies? Or the girl who dances in the front during worship? WHO IS IT?
The thing is, all of these thoughts are exhausting, and downright dangerous. They take the attention away from where it truly belongs, Jesus. I’m not saying that crushes are ungodly, or that being attracted to someone is stupid, because that’s not true. We were designed to be attracted to the opposite sex, to have feelings for someone. God’s done some beautiful work with humans and we’re just admiring Him for it, right?
Did you know that Song of Solomon says three different times not to awaken love before it pleases? What does that even mean, right?
I’m still learning what this looks like myself, so I’m not claiming to be an expert-love-guru over here. But I have learned things living in community, and messing up now and then. You live and you make mistakes, but you learn from them. What I’ve learned, is that I need to be kind to my heart, and not to awaken love before its time.
Well if it’s not time for love, then what the heck time is it then??
To you I shall say, as I have often said before, ‘Do not be in a hurry, the right man will come at last’. -Jane Austen
It’s time to embrace your singleness, to discover who you are in Christ, to be content with yourself. If you can’t be content alone, you won’t be able to be content with someone else. Take advantage of this time where the only commitment you have is to the Lord. Step out and do things normally you wouldn’t be brave enough to do.
Whatever you do, don’t wait to start your life until your spouse gets here. They won’t be the end all to satisfy you, and your life won’t magically become everything you want it to be once you’re married. No, your life has already begun, and the dreams and passions you have that God placed inside is up to you to pursue. Start pursuing your passions, start working on your character, start loving the people around you. If you meet someone going in the same direction along the way, that’s amazing!
However it happens, trust that God has the very best for you. He knows when and how and why. Right now He wants to partner with you to make your life as amazing as it possibly can be; and at some point, He will bring someone into your path who can partner with you in that as well.