Enough of Enough

We have all, at some point or other, lived and walked out lies that the enemy has thrown at us to hold us down. Some of us only listen to it for a short while before we cast them aside, but some of us take years to fully realize what we’ve been believing is false.

I remember sitting on the couch with a friend, my hands in my lap, my heart feeling like it was in pieces on the floor. She had her arms wrapped around me as I cried, cried, cried. The past couple of weeks had been rough, and I had reached the climax of my misery.

Everything boiled down to one ungodly belief that had been rooted in the folds of my heart and mind, covered up by numerous lies after lies I had told myself: I wasn’t good enough.

Whether it was in relation to work, relationships, or even God, I was working to be the very best. It wasn’t completely out of a heart of excellence, however. No, deep inside of me, my soul was crying out for love and attention.

If I do this the very best, if I’m the wittiest, the wisest, the most productive… then, and only then, will I be loved.

This type of thinking is gruesomely detrimental to our hearts. Not only is it 100% wrong, but it creates this false expectation on ourselves and other people. We not only become judgemental of ourselves, but we expect other people to perform to our level. Because it’s all about performance, right?

Wrong, again. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NLT).

Performance is a heavy burden that does not ease up. It doesn’t go away when you do something wrong, or even if you do something right. It just leaves you needing the next quick fix, something to fill the desperate need you have to feel good enough.

Here’s the thing though: we weren’t called to be enough. We’re called to be lovers of God, to be His children. He created us not because He wanted us to be enough of something, but because He loved us. He doesn’t need us to do anything. He doesn’t require us to be better than everyone else. That’s absolutely ridiculous.

There are a couple of things I’m realizing as God is taking me on this journey. One is that He is completely, irrevocably, and devotedly in love with me. Not some murky reflection of me, or some filtered version, but me. All of my edges, all of my quirks. Whole, organic, original Candace.

The other is that I don’t need to be enough. You can’t be everything. That’s God’s job, and to be honest, I’m positive that I can’t fit that role. All I need to do, is be the best me I can be, which is who God originally intended me to be.

“It doesn’t matter whether or not you are ‘enough’. Once you realize that, you become more than what anyone could ask for.” -Mike Maeshiro

The best thing that you can give is the real you. Make mistakes, learn from them. Realize that life isn’t a competition to see who lives the best. We’re all different with different styles and dreams and hopes. Together, we create a beautiful reflection of the Father.

So let’s throw out our expectations of “enough”. Let’s throw ourselves wholeheartedly into serving our God, loving Him, each other, and also very important, ourselves. Enough of enough. Let’s live.

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